Some reasons why nobody came to see your gig

Concrete Head @ Bridlington Leisure World 1995, only another 2000 people and we would have filled the place, sometimes it's not that nobody came, it's that you were over optimistic when choosing a venue.

I have read a few of these sort of blogs of late, largely because a few of my friends have finally lost the plot and started to promote extreme metal gigs, and ultimately lost money on ninety nine percent of them, thus resulting in them getting pissed of and posting comments on social media about apathetic audiences, or posting blogs posts not dissimilar to this one. So here is my two pence worth of hints, advice, insults and facts on the subject.

First of all, in all honesty, I wish your band would split up and fuck off. If I could fast forward your bands career to the part when you sell your equipment to buy a washing machine for your ambitionless baby machine wife then I would. More gigs for me. Or as a compromise you could start a wedding band and play polite quiet gigs of pop crap to knobheads, great. More gigs for me.

A year of anarchy and chaos

I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to play guitar for punk rock legends The Exploited. This was an amazing honour for me as they are one of my earliest influences. Anyway, I lasted a year, it was a great year, and it's documented here. Cheers to Wattie, Wullie & Irish Rob and all the punks.

Marlique Deluxe

 With The Exploited in Quebec City, Canada at the Envol Et Macdam Festival 2011

I got this in 2011. It is a handmade Indonesian guitar with a set neck and has a very sludgy tone. This is down to the Tesla pickups which are very old school Gibson sounding. It's got Dimarzios in it now for extra intenseness.

Customised Yamaha Pacifica

 With The Exploited at Cieszanów Rock Festiwal Poland 2012

Peroxide Hell started its life as a basic pleasure model, as in a Yamaha Pacifica. A perfectly good guitar and not only because they are cheap. Somewhere down the line somebody decided to stick a Seymour Duncan SH11 humbucker pickup in the bridge position. Even further down the line I was given it as a present from those nice folk at Grassworks studios where I did some vocals on my Banished From The Mages Guild album. I then gave it to George Corcoran of George Corcoran guitars who sprayed it black, refretted it with stainless steel frets, shoved a khaler trem on it, rammed an Iron Gear Steamhammer pickup in the middle position, slammed an Iron Gear Rolling Mill pickup in the bridge, crafted a wood scratchplate, put grover tuners on it, new nut and wrote my name on it. It sounds great and plays great studio rehearsal and live.